Character:Ryuzaki (not done)

[Ryuzaki]

Name: Ryuzaki
Gender: female
Race: shinigami

Physical Description: red hair 5"8, is very light on the face,

Personality:gets scared very quickly will never stand and watch some one else get hurt. She is very friendly, she like to keep to her self. But is not easy to get mad, usually in a happy perky mood.

History: Her Father died when she was young,he had a heart attack.This did not really upset her she did not know her father so dearly her mother could not handle this so she took her anger out on,Ryuzaki because she looked like her father,one day when they were going shopping she threw her self under a train, to make her mother happy and while she was dieing she saw her mother smiling, smiling because she was happy that Ryuzaki was dieing. She not turn into a hollow because she later on saw her mother in her death bed she was saying that it was all her fault ryuzaki dyed and she regretted every thing. After that ryuzaki was relieved that her mother did not hate her.
Skills:
Swordsmanship: 5
Martial Arts: 2
Kidou 10
Shunpo 5
Reiatsu 4
Block 3
Sense Reiatsu 5
Hide Reiatsu 2
Intimidate 8


Zanpakutoh Name: blood shadow
Zanpakutoh Description (Sealed): A Rose that is the size of a pen. it is this way because its, the shape helps keep the spiritual pressure intact.

Shikai Release Phrase: spread darkness blood shadow
Shikai Description:rose peddles appear and it turns in to a sharp black blade with a blood line wrapped around it. her shikai can store tremendous amount of energy at shout it toward the enemy this is called her Kira move.

Bankai Release Phrase:
Bankai Description: Her blade turns into a huge syth that is dripping blood, if cut by her bankai you will be drain of a little blood each time until you die.

[Juno]

Sorry. I can't give my approval to this profile as it is as of the posting of this comment...
It lacks detail and you completely forgot the personality ''
You might get standard Shinigami at best depending on what the other mods say. If you'd like something better, I kindly ask you to overhaul this ^^'

[Ryuzaki]

i know i forgot to do some thing i fix em up

[Tahoshi]

I agree with the above. While using a picture is fine as a physical description, it doesn't make you exempt from describing her mentality.

Also, how did her father die, what effect did it have on her? Why was her mother so happy to see her die? Surely seeing that would've made her angry enough to become a Hollow there and then... Any reason why she didn't?

Your Zanpakutoh is missing quite a bit of life as well... Is there any reason why her zanpakutoh is like that? Does it not have any named attacks? As for your bankai description... Why suddenly change from a rose to a scythe dripping with blood? You need to explain your character more. While going for the facts is often good, it generally leaves you with a plain emptiness, void of any actual character...

It is often the flaws of a characters personality or physical being that truly bring them to life. RP'ing someone with a missing arm is great, it might give them a bitterness about those who still have both their arms... or someone that is so angry with their life that they rush into combat without thinking, even if its going to pwn them something rotten.

I hope you don't think we're having a go at you... Constructive criticism is meant to help you get some ideas that will improve what you have done.

[Ryuzaki]

Thanks for info it helped alot

[Tahoshi]

Hello again! There's still some problems unfortunately, that stop me from being able to allow you into the game. The most glaring of which is to do with Vizards.

You don't become a vizard by being bitten by one. Nor is there such a thing as a half-vizard. To become a Vizard, you must have a very strong inner-hollow. This is a possibility because of the way you died. However... As of this moment, there are no rules, and no history behind any Vizard movements in the real world. Vizards are loners by nature, and don't interfere with Shinigami battles.

I would also suggest that the pain caused by seeing your mother smile at your death would be enough to turn you into a Hollow, and munch her brains out, but that's beside the point right now. Your descriptions don't really stand up to much "one day she was attacked by a hollow" You could expand that to several paragraphs, maybe describing how he attacked, describe the battle between the Vizard and Hollow... You're still missing reactions and feelings of your character, what did she feel when she was attacked by a hollow? Why didn't she become one when she died? If i were in that position, i would have become a Hollow so fast i wouldn't even have hit the ground.

Vizards do exist in this world, We just haven't worked them into anything just yet. Having one save you is absolutely fine. Maybe you wanted to try and become like one?

Vizards don't live in Seireitei, nor do they have the ability to send people to Rukongai. Your soul would have to be buried by a Shinigami, rather than the Vizard. I hope this isn't too much information to take in... You're getting a bit more adventurous with your ideas, but the description you put to it makes it look very out of place.